I remember watching you that night, how you sneaked me out of my room and forced me to sit with you on the rooftop and when your wrist clock strike 11:11, you merely used to join your hands and wish for something that was most important to you. You were beautiful at that moment. You said once that you hate when people stare at you, but what about the stars who envied your beauty whilst you were blinded in wishing. You never told me what you always have to wish for? Neither did I ask! When you had your eye closed, my hands brushing your cheeks, that slightly dimpled and did you feel my hands adjusting your hair behind your ears? When you were done, you always asked me, why don’t I wish? I never answered that question, because in those little moments, I almost got my everything that I didn’t asked for ever.
Your elbow against my ribs was the detention you gave me every time I disbelieved in your wishes, the pain I used to feel was sweet. I remember once or twice when I got late a little, you remained mad at me for days and days. One thing that I always wanted to ask you that, was I ever in your wish list?
Did you ever asked the stars to have me stay in your life forever? Because if you did, then I am afraid to say this to you, but I was quite right in disbelieving your wishes and if you didn’t, then I wish you have gotten everything that you wished for. I hope you have ran out all of your 11:11 wishes by now.
In order to know where you are and what is going on in your life, I sometimes visit your Instagram and blink with smile while looking at your pictures. All of them are my favourite.
Sometimes I even type the message that I don’t send and then I get a little difficulty to backspacing them due to the wet screen. Because there are still the lake of unread messages you haven’t paying attention to anymore and they give me such emotional cramps that fuckin hurt a lot. So now I have started going to the rooftop alone. I alarm myself at exact 11:11 and go blind in the wishes. I wish that somehow someday you will return to this rooftop so we both can wish together. I won’t just sit and gaze at your angelic beauty and you won’t get a chance to punch my ribs again.
I wish that the lost fragrance of yours in the surrounded air would return, I wish that just for once you go lost and then the archway to the home will open once again. Because this is where you belong and this is where you should be. All the stars have seemed to gain some arrogance for their beauty in your absence. Just for once if you could look back and not in the expressions of a shattered mirror, even if you get a little late, like I used to. It’s alright, I won’t go mad at you. You won’t even have to do your rapid blinking to bribe yourself a forgiveness, you just have to be here, with me, so that I could run out of my 11:11 wishes.